We are entering the wedding season for this year and if you are not as lucky as me, you may have received an invitation to a wedding that you cannot avoid attending. Since there are no predictions for a new pandemic in the near future, I felt the need to share some of my tricks on surviving a wedding as an introvert that I have picked up during all those years that I was forced to go.
Weddings are one of the most stressful social events for introverts. The pressure of being surrounded by people we don’t know, small talk, and forced interactions can keep us up at night for days before the event. Good for you that you are getting married but maybe opt for a close family wedding instead? Big weddings are awkward since there are many people who do not know each other . You hope that the couple was considered when making the seating arrangements and your table will not be full with random strangers.
Choose your Plus One Wisely
The best thing to do in wedding is bring a plus one that will keep you good company. A good friend that understands you is the best choice here. You cannot bring some acquaintance to fill the empty spot, you need a person that comprehends your personality and will not disappear on the dance floor once the party gets started. If you have your friend there with you, the time will pass in no time and if you keep chatting with them no one is probably going to bother you with small talk.
Arrive Late
A good strategic move is to arrive a bit late to a wedding. By showing up marginally late for the ceremony, you’ll avoid having to make small talk with other guests and can head straight for the bar or buffet table. Plus, by the time you arrive, most people will have already formed their social circles, leaving you free to roam around on your own.
Choose Your Seat
Most of the time the seating arrangements are predetermined from the couple. However, if you have the opportunity to influence their decision beforehand, you should jump in the opportunity to do so since the place you will site can make or break your entire day. Try to be at a table that’s far away from the dance floor, the bar, and the loudspeakers. If there is not place that meets these three factors prioritise to be firstly far away from the dance floor. You should avoid being close to the spotlight. If you are not sitting in a good table, have patience and when the dessert is served and the dance begins (and anarchy in the seating arrangements prevails), try to find another sit far away from the festivities as possible. Who knows, may another introvert is hiding in the back and you can plan your escape together.
Your phone is your friend
If you’re feeling particularly anxious, use your phone as a distraction. Scroll the internet or read a book from your phone to space out and regroup when you cannot handle the celebrations around you. I also carry an extra camera with me and pretend to be a engaged photographer. This way, people will leave you alone to capture the moment as you’re doing something important. I try to shoot mainly the decorations and not the people so I do not have to interact with someone who wants their picture taken.
Have an Escape Plan
It is essential to have an escape plan ready in case you reach your limit. It is acceptable to leave after the dessert is served and dancing has started. Make sure you have a believable excuse to leave (you can find some in our previous post), although don’t be afraid to leave unnoticed if the are many guests in the wedding. No one will care. Especially if you have shared a story on social media that you attended the wedding. That’s what matters most these days.
Don’t Forget to Smile
We know that you are not at all happy going to weddings but it is to your benefit to try and hide it. Try to smile and pretend to look happy you are there. You never know when a photo with you is taken and you do not want to look grumpy. Also, if you cannot avoid it try to be pleasant to the strangers around you by engaging in small talk by following our guide in a previous post. You can always escape the conversation by going to the bathroom and hope for a long waiting line to keep you there as much as possible or even better revisit the buffet or the bar!
Weddings are beautiful celebrations of love and commitment but we know that attending a wedding as an introvert can be a daunting task. For the times that we cannot avoid it, I hope that with the few simple tricks I have listed, you can survive the day without feeling completely overwhelmed. Hang in there!
